As many of my readers know, I recently went on a vacation to Miraval with my best friend where I participated in activities that challenged me to grow. The next challenge I decided to face was to suspend from thirty-five feet in the air by a rope, let go, drop and swing. As I prepared, I realized that I was not nearly as afraid. My adrenaline was not pumping and I was actually excited. This activity looked fun and I was looking forward to the exhilaration of it all. I thought about my intention and knew that this one was about trust and letting go for me. There was much I had to let go of in my life and now seemed like the absolute perfect time to do it.
As I sat, suspended way up high, I took some time to take in the beautiful view and think about the things that I was holding on to. I knew that there were feelings of anger, pain, and betrayal that I had struggled with and had prevented me from fully being free in my life. I had been afraid to let them go and trust in what the aftermath of that might look like. As I prepared to let go of the rope I was able to connect with the fear of letting go of past pain. I told myself that this was it, my moment was now, and I could trust in whatever happened on the other side.
And so I let go. I let go of the rope and every bit of pain, anger, and betrayal I had been holding onto. The moment was terrifying and exhilarating all the same. As I swung through the air all I could think was that I felt sick to my stomach yet I didn’t want to stop and could not take the smile off my face. Motion sickness was getting to me but I could not resist the urge to play in my moment of freedom and find my way to swinging upside down. I may pay for this later by not feeling well or maybe even getting sick, but it was worth it. I was free, I had let go, and I was going to take in every single aspect of it that I could.
As I sit here hours later writing this, I still feel a bit queasy and unsteady. I have decided to embrace these feelings with gratitude, for they are a physical reminder of my freedom and my ability to survive and thrive on the other side of letting go. I think that many times we are afraid to let go because we do not know what to expect if we do. Even if we are holding on to pain, which we all know does not feel good, we can sometimes hold on to that negativity because the pain is easier to take than the possibility of the unknown. We get used to the pain and the way it feels, it becomes comfortable for us, and in a way, we grow to rely on it.
What will be without it
How will we survive?
I am here to tell you that nothing can be worse than holding on to the pain. Not even having to face hours of physical sickness. In letting go, we provide ourselves with space for so much new energy and emotion to come through. We are greeted with alternate perspectives, feelings of pride and confidence, and a new sense of trust and faith that truly does embody freedom. No matter what happens on the other side of letting go, it is a gift to us, a symbol of transition and rebirth. No matter what, it is a moment that can and will forever signify courage, trust, faith, and freedom.