War. Well, I am not a politician, have not had to fight in a war, have never had to make any sort of decision about going into a war. I am simply a human being, connected to all other beings in this universe, affected by the threat of violence that looms over us all at this very moment. I am a woman, a mother, a writer who feels compelled to speak from my heart and attempt to make some sort of sense of the fear and confusion that seems to be permeating the very air that we breathe. War. Writing the very word hurts my heart and moves me to write.
I may not have ever been directly involved in a physical war, but I have certainly been involved in an internal war. As I am sure many of you can relate to, the process of awakening involves a sort of war against ego. A war against the patterns of negative thoughts and fears that can posses the mind and cause us to believe in a reality that quite frankly does not even exist. Fear tricks us into distorting truth, building unnecessary walls, and cornering us into a state of protection.
For me, once I understood this, I declared a war, determined to bring down the enemy, my ego. I was determined to win and convinced that this was the way to freedom. Stay strong, fight, and protect myself in the honor of awakening, in honor of love.
It didn’t take long for me to learn that this war I declared resulted in nothing more than bringing me further down the vortex of fear. My heart ached, my soul cried out, each breath I took was filled with pain. This war was not destroying my ego, this war was destroying me, bringing me further away from freedom, bringing me further away from love.
War was not the answer at all. The answer was love.
Once I made the conscious decision to end this self-proclaimed war and instead allow love to be my guiding force, I realized that I was finding freedom in an entirely new way. My unnecessary walls came tumbling down, truth became clear as my distortions dissolved, I no longer needed protection, as there was nothing to protect against. War was never necessary. The only thing necessary was love.
And so this is what I lay thinking about as I consider the threat of war that looms over us all. I think about my internal war as a metaphor for the physical war that could possibly occur in our near future. The fear induced distortions of truth, the unnecessary building of walls, and the false need for protection. I think about how fear tricked me into believing that I could destroy as a means to do good and that I could somehow battle my way to freedom. I think about how fear is tricking so many of us now.
There are so many different types of wars we all experience each and every day. Internal wars, wars with friends, wars with our children, wars against “evil”, and wars with other countries. I think about all of these wars and can see no other answer but love. It is love that frees us from an internal war we may engage in. It is love that resolves any battles we engage in with friends and family. It is love that brings us together in times of struggle. It is through love that we triumph. Let us all find the courage to love.