I am finding myself waking up from a dream that I have lived for some time now, a dream that I formulated in my head and believed to be reality. It is an interesting realization as I have long heard the saying that we only see what we want to see. I have long understood the idea that we create our reality through our thoughts and beliefs, making the world around us fit the image that we have in our heads. Even though I have been aware of these theories, waking up out of a dream or false reality is still always a huge aha moment.
As I attempt to understand this false reality I had set up and believed in, I find myself full of curiosity. How is it possible to be unaware for so long of a truth that I now see so clearly? As I think back I know that there were moments when I would sense that what I believed to be true was not. These moments of clarity were quickly squelched though, my thoughts pushing me back in my place. My false reality was the one I believed in and my desire to be happy in that reality prevented me from allowing any bit of truth to find its way in. Quite simply put, I was protecting my glass house from shattering.
Slowly though, truth would seep in through any small cracks it could find and build on itself until I had no choice but to acknowledge it and see that the reality I was living in was built on crumbling foundation. As you might be able to imagine, this became a difficult period. I was constantly questioning myself, felt confused and scared, and also a bit lost. At times I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. Like I was completely alone wandering through life with nowhere to fit in. I had been in love with the fantasy for so long that the truth felt like an assault on my very being. I not only had to adjust to a new reality, I had to come to terms with the knowledge that I had sacrificed myself for a fantasy that didn’t actually exist.
So here I sit now, awake from the dream and living in the truth feeling grateful, free, and more connected to my being then ever before. This awareness has provided me the opportunity for self-forgiveness, opening myself up to an even deeper level of self-love. I am able to honor me and stand in my truth without question, as I am no longer easily swayed by the false thoughts and images that used to leave me feeling confused. I am awake, full of deep love and gratitude for this absolutely beautiful space in which I now live.