Forgiveness has been something that I have struggled with for a long time. I understood that forgiveness is something we do in order to heal ourselves, rather than something we do for the other person. I had the desire to let go and no longer carry around the painful emotions born of not forgiving, yet I somehow could not find a way to actually let them go. I felt in my heart that I was the one suffering and that by holding on, I was causing my own pain. I knew all of this and was unable to find a way to carry out the action of forgiveness.
Tonight I found the weight of carrying around the pain of not forgiving to be to heavy a burden for me any longer. I broke down and cried and realized rather quickly that I was crying out of the need to release. I sat down and closed my eyes and imagined a beautiful empty box sitting open in front of me. As I cried, images and sounds came forward into my conscious mind. All the pain, disappointment, anger, and fear surfaced. I imagined all of this being released from my mind and body and being placed into the box in front of me. I filled the box with all that had been weighing me down for so long. One by one I whispered out loud the thoughts, feelings, and memories that I was releasing into the box. As each second passed I became lighter and free.
When I felt that I had come to a space of forgiveness I gently closed the box, locked it, and placed it on a shelf for safe keeping. I told myself that forgiving did not mean that I had to forget, I simply did not have to be the one to carry it all around anymore. The box would now hold the information for me and I would be able to access it at any time if necessary. I was free to move forward with an open heart and lightness of spirit.
As I sit and write this now, I feel a space open in my heart that has been closed for so long. I feel myself breathing more deeply and fully. I feel tears of joy and relief fill my eyes. Most of all, I feel gratitude for all that I am and all that awaits me now that I am free.
I wonder if there is someone in your life that you need to forgive, something that you are holding on to that might be weighing you down and causing you to suffer. I encourage you to move toward forgiveness. Maybe the method I described above will work for you as well or maybe you will find your own way. I look forward to hearing about your process toward forgiveness and your road to freedom.