My son called me up to his room tonight to let me know he had been crying because he was missing someone he holds close to his heart. He had tears in his eyes and his heart ached. As I sat there with him, I held space for him to feel and share in whatever way was necessary for him to find his way through. I understood how important it was that he be given the time he needed to let his heart speak to him, feeling in fullness the effect of missing someone you love.
These moments with our children can be so difficult. Of course, we don’t like seeing our babies sad. We want to find ways to take away their pain as quickly as possible and somehow make it all better for them. Simply sitting back and allowing them space to feel sadness and be with a broken heart can take the strength of a super hero; and isn’t that what we as parents are sometimes called to be. Providing them this space is so important though, and provides them the opportunity to fully experience their connections with others.
There is so much value in missing someone, so much to be learned from the feelings that arise. There is wisdom to be gained and strength to be built. There is an appreciation that is acquired for the person that is missed, as we are able to clearly see and feel what that person brings into our lives. There is an opportunity for us to learn ways to keep people present within our hearts, even when they are not physically able to be with us.
There is a strength that is acquired in being able to go on, being able to move forward, even though we may feel great pain or sadness. In that moving forward there is then an opportunity for the excitement that one will then get to feel for seeing that person again in the future. An indescribable joy and anticipation that occurs when reconnecting with someone you love.
As my son was given space to shed his tears, his feelings allowed and acknowledged, he was given the opportunity to expand his heart, his relationship, and his ability to connect. With his moms arms around him, he was able to let himself go, knowing he was safe and protected. It is in sadness that we all long for and need a safe place to fully feel and let go, so that we can experience the healing and wisdom that is to follow.