Taking Care of Me First….

I am beginning to understand that truly living from my heart means that I first and foremost take care of myself.  It means doing what I know is right for me even though.  Even though putting myself first can mean upsetting others.  Even though it can also mean upsetting other parts within myself.  It can be so easy to abandon that initial knowing or feeling that I have in order to appease the reasoning that may be happening within my head.

So many times I know instantly what I want or what is the right decision for me.  My initial feeling is my hearts immediate assessment and reaction to whatever lies ahead.  If this initial feeling or decision is something that I know may upset others or even worse, upset other parts within myself, than I am quick to find ways to talk myself into another decision.  A very simple example is last night I could feel in my heart that I needed to shut the world out and be alone.  I hadn’t spoken to a friend in awhile and she called wanting to talk.  I could have easily abandoned my heart by speaking on the phone knowing that my friend may be disappointed, she might need me, she was excited to hear my voice.  I could have abandoned my decision because other parts of me want to hear her voice, catch up, and connect.  Living through my heart means honoring my initial desire to shut myself away.

What is important to remember is that it is the heart that speaks first.  Once my heart has spoken it is my head or ego that reacts to that decision either trying to talk me out of it or convince me that I am correct.  Either way, it is not the heart that attempts to reason, it is the mind, the ego.  The heart just exists and is what is.  It is a feeling or a knowing within that I simply choose to see or not see.  Either way, it is there for my finding.  I want to and choose to live through my heart and not through my ego.

The more ways I can find to be true to my heart the quieter my ego will become. Every time I find a way to honor my heart and follow it’s desires the ego becomes a less powerful influence in my life.  Through my heart I will find ways to take care of myself, protect myself, love myself, and heal myself. Through my heart I will be able to quiet my mind.  Living through my heart is where peace and happiness exists.  It is where contentment and ease in just being lies.