This weekend I am on a vacation at Miraval with my best friend, challenging myself, making new discoveries, and growing. If you have not heard of Miraval, it is a health and wellness spa that seeks to inspire balance for its visitors. There are your typical spa activities like massages, scrubs, and facials, healthy eating, energy healing, and workshops. What makes Miraval unique though is that there are also different types of physical challenges like ropes courses and rock climbing. It is a destination that allows you to test your limits, expand your boundaries, and create aha moments that provide insight and wisdom to carry over to your everyday life.
The first challenge on our agenda was to climb 35 feet up a pole and then walk across a tightrope. I could feel my adrenaline pumping as my mouth became very dry, my heart started beating quickly, and a tremor throughout my entire body began. Fear was setting in and the adventure had begun!! As I prepared for this challenge I spent some time thinking about how I was feeling and what my intention was for doing this activity. I realized rather quickly that this activity was about self-confidence and courage for me, two things that seem to have gotten pretty low for me over the past year.
At different points in our lives, self-confidence and courage can at times be high and at other times be low, depending on the space we are in. When our self-confidence is high, challenges like these can be less difficult as it can be easier to have faith and trust in our selves and in the universe. When it is low, well than that can be a whole different ball game. As I realized just how terrified I was, I quickly connected with how low my own self-confidence has been recently and therefore, how difficult of a time I was having trusting in me, as well as trusting in the universe. I acknowledged that I had taken some big risks over the past year, put my self and my heart out there, and gotten deeply hurt. It seems that my reaction to all of this was to recoil and isolate, and quite simply, play it safe. As I stared at the tightrope, it appeared that playing it safe was over and it was now time to begin the journey of courage back to trusting in me and having faith in the universe.
After climbing up the pole, I was faced with having to step onto the tightrope and suddenly I was paralyzed with fear. What shocked me most was that my immediate reaction to this fear was to simply give up. The first thought that went through my head was that I had no desire to do this at all and that I was simply going to get down. I was very close to taking the easy way out and giving up on myself when I decided to take a moment to breath and center. I was going to persevere and do the absolute best that I could. Shaking and terrified, wind blowing pretty hard, I made my way across one rope at a time. Honestly, this challenge never got an easier for me, but I was able to muster up the courage to continue on anyway. I made it a little over half the way across before falling.
I’ve spent some time thinking about how quickly I wanted to give up on myself and not even try. I easily could have convinced myself that I didn’t care and that it wasn’t something I wanted to do. I know now that I would have been left with a feeling of disappointment and regret, and worst of all, I would never know if I could have done it. I would not have even given myself the chance.
How many times do we do this to ourselves throughout our lives, cutting ourselves off from possibilities of love and success, simply because we are to afraid to put ourselves out there and walk uncomfortably into the fear? How many missed opportunities have we convinced ourselves that we don’t care about and that don’t matter? How many possibilities and opportunities are awaiting us in our future, just begging for our self-confidence and courage to win out and allow us to make the attempt?
Maybe we are afraid, maybe we don’t look very graceful, and maybe outside influences make our task at hand even more difficult. What I learned today is that none of that matters. What matters is making the attempt because it is only then that we can honestly know anything at all. We might not be successful in reaching the destination we have in mind, but maybe along the way redefine success, possibly realizing that the destination isn’t actually success at all. There might be hurt and disappointment, but there is nothing worse than the regret of not even being willing to try. These moments of courage our the moments that bring us closer to our true selves, providing us with wisdom to carry forth throughout our lives.