Love Song

How many poems, quotes, and She Loves Me, She Loves Me Nots have we read, making absolutely NO common sense? The romantic in us dives in and says, “YES! This is it; this is love.”

Our heart flutters and we smile so big at a dream that at times does not come true. Why? We either (1) follow our common sense that says, “That kind of love exists ONLY in movies,” as we veer to the safe and familiar, or, we (2) allow our addictions to having the dream and its potential ruin our lives, playing the tape recorder of “If only he/she would…change.” Thus, our common sense and addictions prevent us from playing our Love Song while we are still here, only to die with our spiritual sense still in us.

“I know you could argue the point.
What is the point of that?
I have no need to be right or wrong.
I have no need for nostalgic words.
Why disconnect now?
Why sugarcoat something already so ripened, whole?
You spread yourself out in my direction.
I’m all poised attention.
Undress and lay me out
as sensuously as you do yourself.
Let this love that harbors no
illusion unwind and weave us
into one pattern,
tightly hewn tapestry of sighs,
so that we no longer know the miles as
breadth.
We now know only depth.
No doubt remains. We are the same.
Beloved.”

-Cybele (Love Song, poems & prose)

I stopped reading words like this long ago; I found them to be depressing and unrealistic. The dreamer in me had died, and I became a talking robot of self help and live-your-best-life type of THINKING. I was great at the talk; I had no idea what it meant to walk the talk. No idea at all. I forgive myself; for how could I? I had no living human example of what it meant to love and be loved.

And then, I met Cinnamon and Heidi. Two devoted teachers, walking their talk and loving with all their hearts. When I entered their angelic realm, I never wanted to leave. I was home.

After my healing sessions, they would gracefully walk me to their door and say goodbye. They loved me enough to know that only I was the great healer in my life; ONLY I could change my reactions to my challenges by being thirsty enough to do the work and claim my freedom. I learned that intention was NOT enough.

They knew that they were leading me to the well of peace, and the rest was left to me. They had no attachment for me to take a drink; no attachment at all. They knew that it would take me trusting them with everything I had, even if I looked like a freak to the general public. Humble servants they were and are, they took NO credit or money. My mind of doubt questioned, Is this too good to be true? So grateful that my heart prevailed and answered, “No.”

My left eye was still recovering from my cancer surgery, so I could barely see. Ironically, I was truly SEEING for my first time. In silence, I remember walking away from God’s greatest gifts and human examples of what it means to love UNCONDITIONALLY, creating so much sadness that I did not really know what “Love” truly meant. As I reached my Ford Explorer, a spark ignited deep in my core. I had an inkling of hope.

Three years later, I now experience what it means to love and be loved. And am paying it forward…