Leaving Fear on Facebook

I have been on Facebook for at least seven years. Like some of us, I have changed since then. What does that mean? I don’t have the same interests, nor do I have many of the same friends since waking up to a different way of being. And then, there’s Facebook, where I am friends with people with whom I wasn’t even friends with in High School. 

About three years ago, I made the decision to live out loud while struggling with my ego. It was not an easy decision to make, considering I could look like a crazy woman for Facebook participants to judge me. Similar to a weight loss journey, I wanted to be an example of what it takes while going through many painful triggers of past pain. For years, I contemplated deleting people from my account, creating so much doubt on whether to push the “Unfriend” button. It seemed so harsh; and being a programmed people pleaser, I created fear. To avoid my trigger, I changed my Facebook account, hoping that they would not follow me. It didn’t work. 

As I moved through my maze of fear, I hurt my feelings over what seemed to be a lack of support from those I thought would be there for me. After all, I thought people knew that I had been to hell and back. I expected a “high-five” for getting my life together and taking responsibility. For the most part, it did not occur. 

At this time, I wanted to delete many people from my life and Facebook account, but I was still afraid. You see, I had to go through my fears, not around them. These “friends” were angels in disguise, offering me the challenge to love myself and a way to manage my ego. UGH… This was sooo hard. Especially, when I made myself a victim of perceived attackers. 

My mentor would continually remind me that I had placed a target on my chest, and that it is all a part of the game. I just needed to learn the art of Spiritual Aikido, dodging bullets, allowing them to pass by me while tapping into my divine strength. I needed to be my truest self.

Now, this is the cool thing. Once I let go of my addiction to being “liked” and understood, I was free. Free to go my own way. It was that simple. I called up my wisdom and left in love. On a side note, there were people whom I deleted merely because my heart said so. I had no idea why, I just knew, and that was enough. This was the letter I wrote prior to leaving Facebook bondage. 

Dear Facebook Friends, 

I recently deleted my first “friend” on Facebook. It was timely. Surprisingly, I created nothing but oneness as I pressed the “Unfriend” button. You can be assured that this would not have been the case one year ago. 

It is common to think that deleting people from our lives because they don’t meet our models is solving anything. Why not? Who cares! We tell ourselves that Love detaches from those blood sucking vampires, and we need to protect ourselves. That they are depleting us from our energy, their gossiping is stealing our light. That we are the light workers in this world and need to surround ourselves with only uplifting and “positive” people. Contrary to the mass opinions of what I like to call the worldly world, Love is not separate from anyone. The sun does not shine less when someone curses its heat. 

If there is an emotional charge inside of your body, even when you just think of the person you are not loving, that is a trigger you could breathe through and let go of. A trigger that you project onto others. We judge others because we are unwilling to take even a sneak peek of how we are not loving ourselves. How we are living in the confined walls of duality, going along to get along with societies models, miserable in our own existence. Our tolerance to suffering has often become so high that we don’t even know that we are creating our own hell. We think we are happy. Especially compared to the starving children in Africa, forgetting that comparing is just another form of resistance and making ourselves wrong.

I know this story all too well. I lived it; and at times, still do. I have told myself countless times that if this or that person would just change, I would t hen be happy. Contrary to the mass opinions of society, your pain has nothing to do with the individual from whom you are separate. When we call up the courage to look at our own demands that we are projecting onto our enemies, we grow in consciousness.  When we are willing to see that we would not know Love without Fear, we begin to welcome the opportunity to create oneness with the person from a spiritual perspective. Only the ego separates ourselves from our fellow awakening beings.

It is only when we do not resist the “what is,” that our life begins to transform. Our visions broaden and we see more clearly, creating awareness that this very person is our teacher, here for us-not against. Deleting or resisting the individual that could help you break through your robotic-like patterns, only prolongs the lesson. But no worries, the Universe will patiently keep giving you another soul to condemn until you have either completely destroyed yourself or finally surrendered to Love. Just think, it loves us THAT much. Gee thanks.  

With that said, as I move towards new beginnings of non resistance, I intend to minimize the number of my Facebook friends. For those of you with whom I won’t be communicating, I wish you well with all my heart.

Francesca