Have you ever woken up one day and discovered that although things look the same from the outside, you feel so different on the inside? That’s how I’ve been feeling lately and it’s awesome and beautiful, and leads me to reflect on what exactly has changed at a deeper level. Upon reflection, I found that I was feeling so much more complete and authentic than I’d ever felt before and that things had in fact changed at the physical level as well, I was surrounded by the most beautiful, amazing and inspiring women I’ve ever known!
Looking back on my life, I saw that I tended to shy away from groups of women and would tend to have one or two close female friends and mostly enjoyed hanging out with the guys. Guys were easy to be friends with, they accepted me for who I was, they didn’t talk about me behind my back, they definitely didn’t view me as competition, and they were supportive and loving through and through. I trusted them, had lots of fun with them and I knew they would always ‘have my back’ in any situation. I also couldn’t deny that there was a lack of ‘something’ in my friendships with guys, and I desperately wanted to feel that ‘something’…
As women, I think many of us have been mistreated in some way by someone we believed to be a friend. I have had too many of these experiences in the past and ended up building up walls around me to protect myself. I wasn’t letting anyone in! Of course I had my husband, he’s my best and most favorite friend ever, but there was still that ‘something’ missing.
About a year and a half ago, I went away for a few weeks for a certification program in San Diego. I was super excited for my training which was in a small group environment with lots of group and one on one practicing. People came from all over the country and the world to go through this program. When I walked in to the classroom and saw that there were sixteen women and one man I was horrified!!! I was going to be with these women for ten to twelve hours a day…I was going to have to connect with them! I was far out of my comfort zone with only one guy to make friends with, I had no choice but to let my walls down, just a little bit. Then something magical happened! These women of all ages and backgrounds were fabulous!!! I actually enjoyed being in their presence, and they genuinely seemed to like me as well. By the end of those few weeks, I didn’t want to leave, we had all bonded and I had made connections with these women and felt so close to them like we had know each other for lifetimes. When I went back to my hometown, I realized that I wanted a friend, one that was like-minded, with a big heart, and that I could trust. Someone that inspires me to be my best and accepts me as I am.
I set the intention of making friends, I prayed for friends, I smiled at strangers and made small talk…I became friendlier, especially towards women. It was scary to put myself out there like that but I faced my fear and continued taking these baby steps. I also knew that I needed to learn to trust myself in a new way. If we trust ourselves not to tolerate sub-par treatment from others, then it frees us up to allow people in to our lives with an open heart and not be so guarded. Soon the big walls started to crumble and break away, and with each brick of my wall that fell, a new woman would enter my life! I understood that the ‘something’ I was looking for (and missing in my life) was the feminine connection that we can only provide to each other as women.
It makes me so sad that women are so often at odds with one another. We are bombarded through the media with images of women being catty and mean to each other on reality shows, movies and even on the kids channels! I have seen mothers gossiping while their young daughters are standing right there…thus perpetuating this mentality. Children learn by example, therefore it’s our job as parents to teach and show our kids how to be kind, gentle, compassionate, forgiving and loving towards others on a daily basis. It’s so important to speak kindly of one another, if you don’t have any kind words for someone, then don’t speak at all. Personally, I can always find something nice to say about anyone. I’m not saying it’s always easy to do so, but it’s always worth it! When we are lifting each other up with our words instead of tearing them down, we elevate our own vibration on an energetic level. We ARE here to love.
Today I feel so blessed to have so many like-minded women in my life! I believe they are here to show me how to open my heart again, encourage me to be exactly as I am, and experience each of them through the gifts they bring in to the world. This is my journey with my soul sisters and I am embracing each moment of it and stand in gratitude for each one of them for their friendship!
How many of you can relate to not trusting women? How did you overcome this? What are your thoughts on how we are raising our daughters these days? How can you make a difference in your circle of friends or community to encourage women and girls to unite and support one another?