Continuing on with my vacation at Miraval, the next challenge I faced was climbing a 40-foot wall. I had only attempted to rock climb once before, probably around eight years ago. What I remember about the experience was that I was completely terrified and was unable to reach the top. I was afraid of falling, afraid of making a mistake, and afraid of failing. I couldn’t find my way out of the thoughts in my head and therefore, could not focus on the task at hand. The wall got the best of me and I gave up a little more than half way up. I remember feeling disappointed in myself for quite a while.
When my best friend and I decided to go on this trip, I immediately knew that I was ready to face that wall again. I thought about how much I have grown over the years and was truly excited to create a new rock climbing experience. It had been a long time that I had been living my story of giving up and not making it and it was now time to write a new version. I welcomed the challenge and was wide open to whatever this experience promised to bring me.
As I began to climb the wall I was able to feel my adrenaline pumping a bit from excitement and curiosity about the unknown. As these feelings arose, my head immediately wanted to take over and my first inclination was to start thinking about the “what ifs.” I quickly realized that my ability to focus and stay centered was being thwarted by my fears, based on my old story and belief system. I stopped, took a moment to breath, and decided that I was going to focus only on my breath, feet, hands, and the spots on the wall where I could place them. I was not going to allow anything else to enter my being. No way was my ego going to ruin this exciting adventure for me!!
As I continued to climb I began to notice that I was in a sort of a zone. The wall in front of me became a giant puzzle to play with. I had faith in my own abilities and knew I could trust in me to know exactly where my hands and feet needed to go. There was no reason to be afraid or worried and as a matter of fact, I was enjoying myself. Further up the wall, I realized that my fear of heights didn’t even matter in this moment. The only thing that mattered was finding my way to the top and having as much fun as possible on the way there.
My wall climb has truly shown me what it means to be in the moment. To be so engaged at what is right in front of me, that nothing, not even fears, can enter my line of vision. When we are able to stay away from the judgments brought on by our past and the anxieties brought on by the future, we are able to then remain in a state of awareness and being in which we are fully experiencing what is right in front of us. It is in these moments that we can feel the oneness of the universe, there are no barriers and we are connected and existing from that space of truth within us.
It is through these more intense moments that we learn the way this feels and can then carry this wisdom over to our daily lives. It is then that we can be fully engaged in the simple and monotonous tasks of life like paying bills, cleaning, or laundry. Or the major life events like being in love, parenting, or career success. By staying in the moment and being fully engaged we give ourselves the ability to write our own stories based in our truth, not jaded at all by the unnecessary chatter of past and future.
Who’s climbing with me????