I sit here, surrounded by boxes, movers working hard, my life about to transition yet again. In the midst of it all, I am at peace. I feel a sense of calm and center. I am stress free, trusting that all will come together exactly as it is meant to. There is no anxiety, I am not feeling on edge, and I am even finding the time to write. As I acknowledge this calm and centered state, I am filled with so much gratitude and love for my self. I have come a long way and it honestly feels pretty amazing to be here.
In the past, I have always been the sort of person to get overwhelmed when things got chaotic and under a time clock. I would feel my adrenaline rise, become easily frustrated and impatient, and not be able to relax for even a second. I would get everything accomplished, but it was not a pleasant experience for me, or the people around me. I think that much of that had to do with my need to be in control. For so long I would resist the help of others. I worried that things would not get done properly or as efficiently as if I did them myself. Not only that, but I always felt deep inside that I had to somehow prove myself. Prove that I didn’t need help and could get everything completed on my own. Somehow I believed that this is what made me worthy.
As I think about this now, I have to sort of giggle and just how much I allowed this false belief to control my life. I placed so much pressure on myself and honestly made things a lot more difficult than they ever really needed to be. I giggle because I look back, not with judgment or regret, simply with love and adoration for the person I am and the lessons I have learned. I feel so much self love for my ability to grow and make changes in my life that have led me to this beautiful state of peace and calm. I am grateful that I am willing to relinquish control, let others help me, and now sit here and do what I love to do. I am smiling and so are those around me, and quite simply, that makes my heart happy.
Last post about moving… I promise:-)))