Feelings

Feelings present themselves in a very powerful way. So powerful that I, for a very long time, followed them wherever they seemed to want me to go. If I felt something then I acted upon it. I believed that my feelings represented my heart and so following my feelings meant that I was following my heart.

As I continued to do this, I found that I was constantly repeating the pattern of acting on my feelings and then struggling with this sense of having abandoned myself. I would feel discontent in my heart and a great deal of confusion around what I really sought in my life. I was then struggling to make decisions, unsure of what it was I truly wanted. Could I really be that out of touch with my inner voice and my true self?

As I sat here to write today, I sat with a heavy heart. I had been filled with feelings of sadness, longing, and heartache throughout the day. As these feelings continuously journeyed into my awareness, I sat as an observer watching their effects and the thoughts that began to stir. I made a choice to allow my heavy heart to exist within me, without judgment and without any attempts to make these feelings disappear. I chose to learn today and to understand what these feelings have to teach.

The thought quickly came into my awareness that my feelings really have nothing to do with following my heart. As a matter of fact, truly following my heart means having the courage to do so in the face of my feelings. Having the courage to do the thing that serves my higher self and my journey in this universe even though my feelings may be begging me to do otherwise. Not always the easy choice but certainly the one to bring fulfillment.

As I contemplate this realization I am immediately aware of all the times that I did in fact follow my heart even though my feelings were not in agreement. I am immediately reminded of the sense of contentment that resulted. I am keenly aware that feelings fade over time while that sense of self-abandonment only intensifies. This concept is absolutely freeing to me and I can feel I am filling with excitement and anticipation. For so long I have been a victim to my feelings and now I move forward with the courage to follow my heart.