Family – By Mark Holder

As a modern parent, I find myself constantly trying to balance the business, the clients, the marriage, the household chores, the lack of sleep, the sports, the coaching, the social calendar, the gym, the kids, the dogs, the poop, the pee, the muffin man (who lives on Drury Lane in Trousdale). I mean when in the name of Johnny Test am I supposed to do it all?

Before my cute and smelly little angels arrived on this sweet ass planet, I don’t remember getting this much done. Come to think of it, I can’t even remember what I did all day (except sleep – I do remember that old friend of mine). If I was lucky, I walked around Earth trying to figure out how to be happy via Papa Jakes Veggie Burger Subs (OMG this place is by far the best cheese-steak shop in LA – Philly born and bred), lame parties, and work.

I think because I am now awake for 20 or 22 out of the 24 hours of the day, I am more productive – makes sense. I’m as tired as a man can get, but I don’t mind most of the time – that’s where Coffee Bean (Pumpkin Latte , Coconut Almond milk, half the pumpkin, no sugar added vanilla, extra hot and no foam comes in.

One aspect of my life that has been severely muted is the nighttime social calendar. When I was single and childless, it made sense to have a heavy night schedule full of moronic activities – not so much now. Currently, a fantastic evening for me is cuddling with my wife, crashing into my kid’s bath with my clothes on, chasing them around the house with a diaper on my aqua blue bubble bath covered head, cooking cheap crappy pizza (side of green beans too, don’t worry), and reading Llama Llama Red Pajama to him. Pretty much all the same stuff I did when I was single…..

I used to run around the world desperately looking for the exact thing I now have sitting in my house – correction, home.

There are still nights, of course, where the wife and I will hit dinner or a movie or a work event, but they are rare. When we do go to one of those things, we cannot wait to get home to see the sweeties – even if it is just to watch them sleep. What movie am I going to see that is better than that?

The reality of my situation is simply this:

I would rather stay home with my beautiful, loving, perfect little (ha) family than do just about anything else on this hope-we-all-start-to-save-it planet of ours; one exception being going to watch the Philadelphia Eagles win the Super Bowl, which I don’t seem to ever have to worry about; but I did gain four new Eagles fans in the past six years – two of them  just don’t know it yet…