Lately I have been feeling completely and utterly happy. That happiness that penetrates your entire being from your head to your toes, feels as though you are breathing with the universe, and the universe living through you. My heart has been open, fully giving and receiving at every opportunity I am given. I have noticed more frequent and deeper connections with others, as well as things happening that I may have before thought impossible. This is a state that I have glimpsed in the past for very short periods, as the elation I have felt for extended times has never quite felt like this. I have been in a state of welcoming gratitude.
As I have experienced states of happiness before, I know that in the past they have always come in waves. I have learned to fully enjoy them while they are here without attachment, as there will come a time when I might not feel so elated. Like all else, this too shall pass. Over the past couple days I have felt small bits of struggle attempt to work there way into my being. I catch my mind wandering to a negative event of the past or an anxiety about the future. I feel a sense of frustration creep in or an action that I am not fully aligned with occur. I sit in full awareness of this as it happens, watching as an observer as my ego attempts to pull me back down to the struggle of life.
I have written before about the ego and I am sure you have read much about it as well. Our egos do not seem to want us to be happy as happiness is boring, where is all the drama? The happier we become and the longer we remain that way, our egos become threatened and begin to scream louder in an attempt to be heard. It starts with one negative thought or emotion, throwing them at us until there is one that hooks us in. Once we allow ourselves to entertain the negativity the ego then sends us more and more information and next thing we know, we feel sad, depleted, or angry. The ego has won again and we are now struggling through our day in an attempt to feel happy again.
Does this sound familiar to you at all? I think this happens to most, if not all of us. I have spent many years on a conscious spiritual path. In that time I have consumed a ton of information and have integrated it all into my being and the way I perceive the world. As I live today, I realize that the work I do to keep the voice of my ego quiet is an active choice that I need to make daily. It takes practice, dedication, and faith. Life is not meant to be a struggle, rather it is meant to be joyful and filled with love. When we are able to quiet the ego, we are able to catch glimpses of the beauty of existing at peace in the universe. As we keep the ego quiet, we experience this beautiful state for longer and longer periods, until one day maybe even forever.
And so, as my ego continues to send me messages and lure me to listen, I hold fast in my faith and dedication to the love in my heart and the flow of the universe. I consciously walk through my day calling upon love, peace, and allowing to guide me through. I know now that simply because thoughts are coming my way, I do not have to believe them and I certainly do not have to be hooked in by them. Thank you very much ego, but I simply no longer want you coming around!