The Lesson I Need To Know

I saw this posted and immediately knew it was a message I was finally ready for. I had of course heard this idea many times before, but as the Buddhist proverb reads “when the student is ready the teacher will appear,” I could sense that this was resonating at a deeper level for me and there was now something profound to be learned. I sat with the thought and then decided to ask the universe exactly what it is that I needed to know.

In earlier posts I have written about the feeling of discontent and ache that I have struggled with on and off in my heart and have often wondered when will go away. This struggle has been closely aligned with a fear of being abandoned and expecting others to hurt me. I have always known that living aligned with my true Self would be the path to ultimately freeing this pain and have immensely enjoyed the journey back to me. There were times I would experience the release and freedom from this pain and fear yet they would eventually return. Upon seeing this picture I knew it was time to ask the universe what this pain was teaching me. What do I need to know?

Whenever the true Self asks of the universe the universe provides, and it provided this answer to me rather quickly. I was beginning a yoga practice and in that quiet moment the answer came from what seemed out of nowhere and I immediately understood exactly what this fear and pain were intending to teach me. The message came as a wave of understanding accompanied by words. “If I follow my ego in quiet moments with my thoughts I will follow my ego in situations in my daily life, ultimately resulting in pain.”

It all came together that the ache in my chest was the result of my continuously allowing my ego to take over, in a sense abandoning my self and my heart. As long as I continued to abandon and hurt myself in moments alone, I would then continue to abandon myself in situations with others. This pain had existed to teach me that I have been perpetuating this fear of abandonment within me. It was now time to honor my true Self and heart and ignore my egos attempts to guide me off course. As powerful as the ego can be, we can all tap into our ability to remain connected to the present moment and truly hear the message of our hearts.

If I abandon myself in quiet moments I will then abandon myself in relationship with others and I will then create a reality where others will abandon me. It all begins with me.